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During relationship therapyyou will learn that there are three entities in a marriage : you, your partner, and the relationship.

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A long distance relationship or LDR for short is considered long distance when communication opportunities are restricted because of geographic distance and the partners in the relationship desire a continued, close connection. Yes they do!!!

But it takes work on both ends of the relationship in order for the relationship to remain intact. It is important to determine the rules and terms of the relationship before the separation takes place.

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Problems can arise if one partner believes that the relationship is casual and open, while the other is making sacrifices and putting effort into a monogamous relationship. To reduce such confusion, engage in open and honest communication about the separation and discuss what each of you wants from the relationship. Trust — Trust is essential for both parties in order for a LDR to survive.

It's especially important in a long distance relationship because often there is a fear that your partner will end up with another person. Lack of trust can lead to doubt, jealousy, suspicion, and paranoia. Temptation to cheat may be too inviting to individuals who are not committed to the relationship.

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Independence — It's helpful for both parties to have some independence due to the long period of separation. With long distance relationships, it is difficult to depend on one another for gratification and happiness. Partners who have their own circle of friends and participate in enjoyable hobbies may fare better than couples who are too dependent on each other.

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Organization — It's helpful for partners in a LDR to be well organized, so that they can schedule time for the other into their agenda every day. You can…. There are a million things you can do, and the more you do, the more you have to talk about with your partner the next time you talk.

The rules between two people in a long-distance relationship need to reflect what both members want and are able to handle.

Positive psychology for a life well lived

The key is being able to follow through on your promises. If you are in a LDR consider what rules you have already established. What do you want to change? Is there anything you are afraid to tell your partner?

You should only agree to not seeing other people if both of you are in agreement that this is what you both want in the relationship.

Consider these questions:. This has to do with your own sense of readiness.

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These tips will help if you are in a long-distance relationship or a close-proximity relationship:. Long distance relationships are emotionally challenging, but if you can make it, they are also worth it.

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Long Distance Relationships. Did you know Before the Separation It is important to determine the rules and terms of the relationship before the separation takes place. Pros and Cons to a LDR Pros Appreciate the separation in order to focus on school and on each other when together Freedom and autonomy Sense of rejuvenation when you see your partner in person Appreciation for the relationship Better rested than those in close-proximity relationships Perform better academically Cons Pressure to make sure time spent together is high quality Pressure to avoid disagreements When separated again, you feel let down or sad to return to your everyday lifestyle without partner Sometimes distance creates too much of a gap Feelings of loneliness heightens need for security Difficulty maintaining intimacy Tips for Success Set up phone dates and take them as serious as physical dates.

Send e-mail and letters. Surprise your partner with small, personal, and loving gifts. Send a personal item that you use frequently that would instantly remind your partner of you. Keep open communication with partner. Share your plans for the upcoming week.

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Rent the same movie and have a movie date. Look at the stars together and talk about it over the phone. Buy the same book and discuss it together. Mail a note or stuffed animal sprayed with your cologne or perfume. Send each other a plant to take care of.

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Try webcam dates. Visit your partner if you can afford it. You can… Be active on campus.

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a club. Attend social events.

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Make new friends. Go to a museum. Rules of the Road The rules between two people in a long-distance relationship need to reflect what both members want and are able to handle. Consider these questions: Do I feel ready to promise that I won't see anyone else? Will I feel resentful or tied down? Secret Tips for Success These tips will help if you are in a long-distance relationship or a close-proximity relationship: To stay together, you must remember to play together.

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Ask real questions to elicit new information, not yes or no answers. Eliminate the words "always, every, never, forever" from your dialogue. Learn to say "sorry. Talk a lot and often. Communication is key to success! A Final Word Long distance relationships are emotionally challenging, but if you can make it, they are also worth it.