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My name is Kevin, and I just moved back to North Carolina after a year hiatus. West Asheville is now home to me, my two dogs and the worst dating scene since the bubonic plague.


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Question: "I'm sitting across from a gentleman in his 50s, as am I, and we're stymied about meeting mature women. So, here's my question: Where do I meet a woman of my age for a relationship in Asheville? I'm hoping there's a single resource out there so I don't have to search a lot of different places.

My answer: Um, is this guy asking me to start a dating service, because that's what I'm hearing? OK, what the heck: Welcome to Flabbyandfifty.

On second thought, that's probably too personal a name. I'm open to suggestions here, folks. Real answer: As I'm a happily married something-year-old man with the dating skills of a water buffalo, I'm not sure why this guy asked me this question.

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But still, as a dedicated public servant, I tried to get answers. OK, I posted the question on my Facebook to solicit input, and boy did I get some, including some replies that were actually useful. I did get a lot of thoughtful, more serious replies, although no one had the all-powerful one-stop-shopping idea this guy was looking for.

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Dating sites or apps ranging from Match. As Honor Moor, a married Asheville resident who started the Asheville Affiliates in as a place for young business folks to socialize, put it, "There is not an easy-peasy one stop shop.

Bar hopping may be fun with friends, but in middle age, not likely to turn up serious candidates. I have to believe that these healthy grocery stores might work for those wishing to find a healthy partner in life! Tell them to hang out by the avocados Beeman offered this advice: "I would think the same advice I gave my something son would also apply here: Go to places where you will meet the kind of woman you want to spend time with.

In other words, if you want someone who has deep religious beliefs, don't go to a bar.

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She's not likely to be there. If you want someone who likes to go to football games, don't go to the library looking for someone. And so on, and so forth.

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How's that? I thought it was pretty good advice, until an old friend, Bill Atkinson, chimed in with this nugget: "I thought most somethings were looking for something more in their 20s. One single Asheville lady in this age group suggested no matter the venue, men just need to step up and, well, be men. In 18 months, I have not had one man say hello, offer me a drink, ask me out. Middle-aged men need to act like men.

Another single lady suggested getting involved in groups that match your interests.

That was a common theme. Petersen moved here in her 20s and met her husband when she tried out for a play.

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He played Marla Milling has been on the dating scene as a single lady for awhile now, and she says it's not quite as simple as getting out and doing what you love. I've volunteered in the past with the Downtown Asheville Association and gone to their end of the year parties.

I've asked everyone I know and then some how to meet a single, sane man in Asheville with hair and teeth and no one ever knows a soul. I go out and socialize.

I mingle. I talk. Married men will often flirt, but hey, I'm not looking for an affair at ALL. So, I know the question was how the gentleman in your post could meet someone in Asheville?

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I really don't know. I've got to give these fellas some hope, though, so here's a comment from my former fellow columnist Susan Reinhardt: "I met my husband in the Nut Hut. Better'n Match. Wouldn't give us forks.

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Another former colleague, Thomas Fraser, who is single but no longer lives in Asheville, also made me laugh out loud. Hit up funerals.

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They will increase in frequency. OK, so that's not a plan for everyone. I'll summarize all these comments thusly: Get involved in groups, activities and causes you believe in and enjoy, make yourself available to others — and be a little assertive! Or, you could take the advice of noted local Republican Chad Nesbitt, probably the least shy human on earth. Even though he's married, his advice also made me laugh. I think. There is a bar up there and they have a lot of functions.

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My granddad is the bartender and the place is slammed with over fifties and sixties people. Most of them lost their spouse due to death and they are single. It's a fun crowd. Everybody is happy!

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Remember, ask for Chad's granddad! All right, folks, Dr. Lovemaster is closing the office for the day This is the opinion of John Boyle.

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To submit a question, contact him at or jboyle citizen-times. Facebook Twitter. Answer Man: Where can somethings find love in Asheville? John Boyle jboyle citizen-times.

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Nestled in the scenic Blue Ridge Mountains at the confluence of the French Broad and Swannanoa rivers, Asheville sits as the largest city in the most western part of North Carolina.


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I was drawn to this program by its commitment to a mission of service, as well as the social and environmental support for my family.


Fascinating history can be found at a variety of museums and historic sites in Asheville and the many small towns of the western North Carolina mountains.